Sometimes "normal life difficulties" can be exaggerated for missionaries. We find ourselves second guessing a diagnosis in our host culture and wishing for confirmation from out home culture. We travel a long way to get a little medical help. We have to wait longer to get results. And often have to decipher results in another language. You will even find us crossing oceans to make sure our family is as healthy as possible.
So recently I've had my share of sighs and questions. I've wondered what God is trying to do and what He is trying to teach me. I've teetered and felt I would nearly topple. But I have also chosen to trust God and submit to whatever He is doing. I made a commitment I would claim and proclaim each day that God is good and that He is in control.
In the midst of trying to read through the Bible this year I have found words that spoke to my heart. In one of those long, hard-to-read old testament books, God reminded me of who He is.
Whether others believe it or not, He is God. Whether I believe it or not, He is Sovereign.
"...Then they will know that I am the Sovereign LORD." Ezekiel 28:24
I personally have to know it and then others can know it through me. Sometimes it takes trial after trial and testing after testing to know who God is. And to know it deep in your gut, far down in your soul. Where it will stick with you and keep you through the storms.
The dictionary defines Sovereign as one who has all power and authority. One who is above all. The best. Incomparable. The ruler of all things.
My Sovereign LORD walks this road with me. The One who needs nothing and is hindered by nothing. What He wants will happen today. And tomorrow. And the next day. It is only as I rest in who He is, that I can experience His peace and comfort. It helps me be OK, even when things aren't OK. As my troubles get bigger, by God seems bigger. Even though all along, He was big enough for all that might be coming my way.
