Back in America again, the land of big and more. The land of abundance stains my heart with restlessness and unease. The spend-more-than-you-have-season chimes from each packed out parking lot. And with each store aisle I walk, my heart begins to strum in tune with what the world sells me. It is sour and off key. And oh, so out of tune with what the Conductor desires of my heart strings and life.
I am different. I am set apart. Different than what the world says I need and want. Set apart for what my Savior desires, which is a life lived for and spent on Him. And you can never put a price tag on that.
I stop and breath. I think Why do I want to buy? Why I am sad that I can't buy more? I realize I want happiness for my family, a joyful celebration for my kids. I want them to feel like this season is special. I don't want them to be disappointed. So often we have so little. We often just make do. Hand-me-downs and sparsity. Counting pennies and weighing purchases.
But gifts are not given out of guilt or fear. Gifts are given out of love. A heart full of love, a heart full of thankfulness and joy. I give what I have.
My kids know I love them. My gift to them each day is clean clothes and taxi rides. A warm morning breakfast and a cool afternoon drink. Waiting for them after practice and cheering them on in grades and games. Listening to them, praying for them, reading to them. Teaching them, being with them. They have all they need. And I already have more than I could ever want.
Another trinket. Another gadget or techno gizmo. Another cool shirt or stylish scarf. Nothing adds more to what I have already been given, nothing adds more to what they already have. Joy. Peace. And Jesus. My family has blessings of happiness. Time together, fun memories; these are the gifts that never tarnish and the presents that last a lifetime.
So we hunt in the woods for a towering tree, we celebrate Christmas lights with cups of cocoa and candy canes. We play games and watch old black and white movies, play Christmas music, read stories and nibble on cookies.
We exchange little gifts given with lots of love. Thankful for each blessing, those in our hands and those in our hearts. I will close my eyes to what isn't under the tree and I will open my heart to what is already here surrounding me. And that is more than enough.
