This week you will find me on a "personal retreat". Days to get away and be quiet. Hours to read God's Word and good books that feed my empty heart and refresh my tired soul. I was encouraged by this book written specifically to missionary women.
"Unrealistic expectations are often cited as main contributors to burnout by people in helping careers. Missionaries experience burnout more than people living in the U.S. whether those people are in full-time ministry or lay people."
"One can work to reach attainable expectations; however one cannot meet those that are unreachable. To keep working at the impossible in one's own strength is a recipe for disaster. We know that God can do the impossible. But sometimes we try to be Him and forget we are not. We take over His role of trying to convict people of sin and save their souls. We grow discouraged when, after we share the gospel, our friends don't come to know Jesus. We try to change people's hearts and open their blind spiritual eyes when that is not our task. Only God saves. We proclaim the gospel. We pray. We trust. We give God our lives to use as He wills. When He doesn't do what we think is best on our timetable, we are faced with a choice; we must either trust Him or work harder and longer trying in vain to accomplish what only He can do."
What impressed me most from this book is that burnout is internal, not external. It is not that I need to rest more, it is that I need to process life better. It is all about what I think will happen and then what I think about what has happened. I need Godly thinking as I sort out the many disappointments and unfulfilled expectations of myself, my life and my ministry. If I don't filter daily-life through the Biblical truth of who I am and who God is, then those fiery darts of the enemy will burn me badly, maybe even burn me up and definitely burn me out. I need to admit my inadequacies and proclaim God's sufficiency. I need to acknowledge by limitations and God's bottomless-ness. I have to admit I can't, but proclaim that He can. And even if He doesn't, He is good and He is God. I am His child, loved and ok. It is His unfinished task, not mine. And His only expectations of me is that I trust Him and be faithful.
